5/10/2023 0 Comments Prep sittenfeldThis phenomenon - being gripped by an overwhelming wave of feeling that was clearly not the feeling of the people around me - had also happened at a pep rally: It made me uncomfortable, because I didn't want anyone to notice that I wasn't jumping up and down or cheering, and it also thrilled me, because it made the world seem full of possibilities that could make my heart pound. Not because I was sad but because I was not happy, and yet, like my classmates, I'd experienced an emotional surge, I too felt the need for expression. But not a draining of tension - my body was still stiff and alert, and the impulse I had, strangely, was to weep. In fact, as the noise gained momentum, I felt its opposite, a draining of excitement. I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.It was unseemly, lacking subtlety, revealing a wish for things you did not already have. At Ault, it wasn't just that we weren't supposed to be bad or unethical we weren't even supposed to be ordinary, and stealing was worse than ordinary.As for the politics here, what can you do? There’s a lot of posturing, but it’s all kind of meaningless.
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